To Momma (and Mothers everywhere)

I saw this today and though you might enjoy it as well. I dedicate this to all mothers out there, especially mine. I love you Momma!!!

Somebody said it takes about 6 weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby . . .
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct . . .
Somebody never took a 3-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring . . .
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said good mothers never raise their voices . . .
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother . . .
Somebody never helped a 4th grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the 5th child as much as you love the first . . .
Somebody doesn't have 5 children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books . . .
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery . . .
Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the 1st day of kindergarten. Or on a plane headed for military boot camp. Or get on a plane for West Africa and the Mission field.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back . . .
Somebody never organized 7 giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married . . .
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son- or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home . . .
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her . . .
Somebody isn't a mother.

Hello again from the girl down the street

Hello again!
This is Jessica, for all who forgot.. I am back in action and wanted to write a little excerpt to fill all ya'll in on what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks. Well I am in good spirits at the moment because my older brother (Chris) and college roomate (Linzi) left Dakar last night after a week of visiting me! It was so amazing. We did so much together. We laughed, sat on the beach, ate a lot, hung out with my family, prayed, and simply talked while enjoying each other's company. It was such an emotional, rejuvination week for me. I begun to process a lot of what I have been learning out here which was nice to do with people who know me and love me. It was good to start processing things so that when I go home it wont hit so hard. That's just it.. I go home in a month! I thought I would be really sad to see Chris and Linzi leave, but realizing my departure date, I have decided that there is no time to be sad. It's time to focus on why God brought me here and what he still has time to do through me. So thank you for all your prayers regarding my heart and struggles here. The Lord is blessing me once again. So Let me fill you all in on what the Lord is doing with my family.
C.S. Lewis wrote a quote about people who see in his book, "The Last Battle". I don't remember the quote exactly word for word, but it says that everyone who truely seeks truely finds. I couldn't agree with Lewis more. I believe that you don't need a check list of what constitutes someone as a "seeker". I believe that people who are searching for truth, asking questions, and trying to make sense of life are seekers. This is my family. I have had wonderful conversations with them about prayer, God, and Jesus. They are listening and watching me and I believe that the Lord has met them in some way so far. I pray that my family will continue to seek because if they do they are going to hit rock bottom and that rock is going to be Jesus. Please continue to pray for the Ba family. Pray that they will see visions and dream dreams of Jesus. Pray also that when they experience God that they come and talk with me and ask me questions. Jesus said that people will know that we are his disciples by the way we love each other. This is all I am doing. I am striving to love God and love my neighbor.. I just happen to be in Senegal doing it! So, be encouraged that what Rich, Lisa, and I are doing is nothing out of the ordinary.
I am going to try and write more about Senegalese family life and some of my own reflections of my life here. Untill then.....
Jamm ak Jamm (peace with peace)
Jessica

Christmas morning collage

A compilation of photos from Christmas morning with my family, including a few after effects photos (the sleeping ones). Click on image for a larger view.

Christmas eve photo blog

Christmas Eve my family came over to my mother's house and we exchanged & opened presents there. We missed you Chrissy!!!

 

How small are you thinking?

How small are you thinking?

I was challenged the other day with this thought by the daily devotional book I am reading. Then by events that occurred, the reading was brought home even more. We have been very close to a particular family, but I have been limiting my perceived influence to the young people of the family. Not that they are the only ones I have been relating to, but they are the only ones I have seen the Spirit moving among. But once again, God surprises me!

The older mother came to visit recently and told how the doctor has said that there is nothing wrong with her body, though she would say differently. By some things she said, the Spirit revealed to me that what is going on within her is more spiritual. A bit intimidated, I went to her and asked if she and I could begin talking about some stories from God’s Word, particularly one’s written by Moses. She said she would like that very much. I am to begin meeting with her this week.

How big are you thinking? How small? Do you say it is because you think small of yourself? Been there, done that! But if you are living in the Spirit, He dwells within you, thus you are thinking small of Him. Think big! But keep your eyes open for the big and small. God is working all around us! But beware; the enemy is working as well. Sometimes it is hard to see God’s hand when the enemy is so prevalent, but He is very much at work if we will simply look for it.

photo collage

Here is a photo collage from our trip at Christmas!! e

 

Count them as rubbish

Philippians 3:8

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his hake I have suffered the loss of things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ…

Indeed anyone who thinks they can do anything, need only parent a child, particularly through the potty training phase. When it comes to parenting issues, my husband generally defers to me as the child expert simply because I have the masters degree in children’s ministry. But in the case of potty training, there is no degree, nay, not even a class on the subject. Yes, we learned about child development, but we did not spend long on this subject. And even if they did, since every child is unique, it would not matter that much anyway. I confess I have no idea what I am doing at this point. I often feel like that as a parent, but even more so at this point.

I count all my degrees as loss for the sake of Christ, that I might reflect Him more clearly to my child, because the fleshly part of me certainly would not. God is still working on my patience, as he is working on my husband’s as well. It is only through the mercy and grace which I have received that I am able to be compassionate toward my son repeatedly. When I am at the end of myself, He is there to encourage me. Though I may get tired each day of cleaning up my son’s mess, how much more of a mess do I give God to clean up by the sin I commit. A little pee here and there is nothing compared to that. Praise be to our God, our perfect heavenly Father!!

A new face on the scene....

Hello, Bonjour, Salaamaalekum! (Which ever greeting you prefer)

My name is Jessica Sveen, and I’m a semester volunteer teaching English in a high school here in Dakar and living with a Senegalese, Muslim family next door to Rich and Lisa Finch. I’m a junior at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois and hail not only from the North of the Mason-Dixon Line, but my home church Glen Ellyn Covenant Church. I was set up with International Baptist Mission through a friend from Wheaton, and thought that it sounded like a wonderful opportunity for a fidgety junior stuck in cold, snowy Chicago. My major is International Relations and French which has been a wonderful foundation for me in coming to Senegal. I’ve been able to use my French a lot, but finding my Wolof (major language and people group in Senegal) soaring to new heights.
I wanted to start “blogging” certain aspects of my life here because it will help you understand the family structure and practices of the Senegalese people a little better. Also, I’m assisting English teachers at a school in a neighborhood about 10 minutes away from where I live. The school systems are completely different then those in the states, and hopefully, I will also be able to shed some light on them. There is a lot to say, so I’ll start off with some basics.
Someone once told me that, "you never fully wash the dust of Africa off your feet". That phrase is so relevant here because your feet are always dirty because of all the sand. Ha Ha. Seriously though, the African people are unforgettable and the smell and feel are totally impressionable. Okay so let's get to it. I'm not going to put EVERYTHING in this one Blog, so don't worry. I'm simply going to start with some important things to do when interacting with people... especially my family.
1. You always greet everyone in a room. This is done by shaking EVERYONE'S
hand. You also always want to shake the oldest person in the room's hand
first, and do not shake the cute lil’ kids’ hands first. My family has a lot of kids
and they are all really loving so as soon as I walk into the room, people get up and welcome you. Life here is completely relational. People here desire relationship over work. In the states, we often live to work but here people work to live.
2. Eating with my family: everyone eats out of a big plate on the floor at the same
time. It is a big round plate and everyone sits around it. It's actually
very community centered and I have learned to love doing it this way. However, eating isn't a community builder (if that makes sense); it's a time to eat not a time to talk. Very small conversations are had over the food, but mostly you focus on eating and then
when you’re done, you can sit back and talk. You also don't drink during the
meal...only after.
3. Activity: Everything is done together. My family watches A LOT of TV which entails a lot of soccer games and extremely dramatic Spanish soap operas. This is all done at night mostly. No one goes to bed till real late and they get up really early. They have a 2 hour siesta time in the day to make up for lost sleep.
4. My family’s religion: My family is devoted Muslims. They all pray 5 times a day and will often leave the common room to go and pray. They go and visit the Mosque and talk about their faith often. This is sometimes hard for me because, being a Christian; it is hard for me to talk about my faith with my family. I live my life based on my love for Christ. I lean on Christ’s command to love him with my heart, soul, strength, and mind and to love my neighbor as myself. Jesus says that people will know we are his disciples by the way we love one another. My witness is not always vocal, but I pray that my smile and my helping hand will show my love for my family. I have had some spiritual moments of clarity with my family and pray for more moments like those.

I hope this give all ya’ll a basis for where I am writing from.
Until Next Time… Jamm ak Jamm (peace with peace),

Jessica

Blessed beyond measure!!

A princess is born!

Here is a little video of Mariama. I hope you enjoy!!

Upload Video at JussPress.com

Recent visits

Last week was filled with surprises! I went to visit a neighbor and check with her about Pape staying over there during the day Friday. When I arrived, she was not there, so I got to have a conversation with one of her adult daughters, who tends to be quiet generally. I do not really know how the conversation started, but it involved her commenting on how much I trust God. I said that I did because I had seen Him be faithful to me. She said she had trusted God a lot until her father passed away two years ago. She also fears death. I said I did not fear death because God’s Word says that if we trust in Him with all our heart and follow His Son, because God sent Him to show us how to live, then we need not fear death. I also told her how when I was a child I tried to please everyone, but I could not because I am not perfect. Despite my flaws, God still loved me!

I was excited and nervous by being caught off guard by this conversation, so I am sure I did not say something as clearly as I wanted and have likely forgotten something I wanted to share here. But Praise be to our Father who takes our little things and makes them grow! Praise Him for the open door I was able to see! Pray that the door will remain open and I will have more opportunities to talk with her over the coming months!

In addition to this event, I was pleasantly surprised by a visit late last week by my friend that we had prayed to have a baby. No she was not announcing that she is expecting, but she let me know something else. She said she is waiting on God and trusting Him. She asked if I understood what she was saying. I said yes. To make sure, I asked if she was no longer doing any of their traditional customs that are supposed to bring about pregnancy. She said yes! What an awesome opportunity to pray for her now! What an answer to prayer knowing she heard at least something of what I shared with her! Pray that the door will remain open for me to share more with her and that she will see God answer her prayer.

Ngente Pictures part 2

Pictures of ngente

• A neighbor holding Mariama.

• The Laax, a thick oatmeal, is a necessity for an ngente.

• Mariama and I in our morning outfits.

• The pastor, who prayed for us, and his wife.

• Our musicians who played praises.

Burdened for our Muslim sisters

Has your heart been burdened for the Muslim women around the world? I pray that it has, as their lives are not easy many times and yet they make up one-tenth of the world's population. Here is a way to intercede for them. Our greatest tool is prayer. The Women's Prayer Tea offers you a chance to intercede with other Christian women for your Muslim sisters around the world. As you pray, you'll gain a better understanding of the lives and culture of Muslim women. Will you consider hosting a Women's Prayer Tea. To learn more or to order leader and participant resources, go to http://resources.imb.org.

When you're getting to know a Muslim woman, keep these principles in mind:
Community--Keep your relationship open and accepting.
Kindness--Meet a need for her or another family member to show you care.
Refuge--From their difficult lives, cry with her when she is hurting.
Affection--If she is comfortable with it, hold her hand or give her a hug as you build bonds.
Time--Because of her culture, she may be content to drink tea and chat all day, so don't get caught in your schedule and miss a wonderful opportunity to make a friend.

What is an ngente?

Well, we are busy preparing for Mariama's ngente. What is an ngente you say? It is what the people here in Senegal call a naming ceremony. It is typically held on the eightth day after a child is born. Until that time, the child's name is not spoken by the parents to anyone. Typically the ceremony takes place about ten in the morning which includes a prayer of sorts, shaving the head as part of their tradition, and the announcing of the name. At about this time is when the sheep is killed, out of sacrifice or celebration, it is unclear. Before the ceermony takes place though, they begin to serve the laax. Laax is a grain that is made into powder and then formed into the consistency of oatmeal and then served with a sweet milky yogurt over it. It is really delicious! After the sheep has been killed, cooking of lunch begins, which is always "ceebu yap" (rice and meat), which is a signature Senegalese dish. This is generally served about 2:00, since they will serve the laax to anyone who comes until about noon. The lunch is served on large platters around which about 6 people will eat, in Senegalese fashion. (See our website for pictures of this.) After lunch, guests are served some drink, generally cokes, frozen juice from a store, or one of the homemade Senegalese jus, which are not like anything we drink in the states, but they are delicious. This is finished about three or four o'clock. Often for the Senegalese, the day does not end here. They may serve leftovers of lunch to those who come around 5:00, and then will serve a dinner around 8:00. But also around 6:00, there is the exchanging of gifts between the families. The family of the mother of the baby and the family of the father of the baby essentially compete to outgive gifts to the other side of the family. If good enough gifts are not given by one side, not only does it insult the other side of the family, but it also causes the side who gives inadequately to be looked down on by all the neighbors because everyone is watching this event. Yeah, no pressure here!!! However, for our ngente, things will be a bit different! We will serve the laax, because I love it. As someone put it, it is like the wedding cake at a wedding; you would really wonder if you went to a wedding and there was no cake. We will also have another version of it that we had at one ngente. It is the same as the regular laax, but the sauce also includes peanut butter, the Senegalese version. Rich loves this one. Instead of killing a sheep that day, we will buy already butchered meat the day before, that way there is no suspicion of a sacrifice. We will have one of the local pstors come to pray for Mariama and Rich will do a welcome and talk about the importance of neighbors. We may do an imitation of the shaving of the baby's head, but we will not actually do it. Among other reasons,they shave the head because the first hair a baby has is too soft. The shaving of the head causes the next hair that comes out to be stronger and better for braiding, which is very important for girls here. Obviously, we have already announced her name to everyone, since we are doing this 2 months after her birth! We will then serve lunch followed by the Senegalese jus. After that we will be done. We will not do the gift exchange, because it practically sends everyone in debt. We will also not do dinner. Oh, one part I forgot is me! The mother of the baby is called the "boroom ngente", meaning lord of the ngente. The boroom generally wears a different outfit for every meal, getting more expensive as the day goes on. I will wear a nice outfit I already have for the morning but am getting a new outfit for the afternoon lunch time. Her hair and makeup are very fixed and very heavy generally. I have not yet decided how I will do those, but that will be decided this week. I hope that this gives you all a good idea of what we are getting ready for here. As someone has said, this is really a party for them, our guests, and a show of us wanting to be a prt of their culture, though we are not of their culture. Please pray that things will go smoothly and that no feelings will get hurt, long story, and that this will be an opportunity to deepen the relationships we already have in this community. Thank you!

my first audible post

Decisions of an American mother in Africa

What do we do about preschool for my 2 year old? He is still in a in diaper which is a bit of an issue. Most other women here with our company would not have their children in something that early because their focus would be totally on their home. However my son wants and needs interaction with other children more than I am able to visit others, especially since having his sister. I also know when I begin teaching in the schools again; my time will be even more limited. So how do I get my son what he needs? I have checked out some preschools here and find myself in a bit of a predicament. Some are inexpensive but full, so that does no good. I do not want to look like I have money to throw around. I also am not looking for great teaching as much as socialization for my son, because I feel he is learning a lot at home. Some are more expensive but have availability and will change his diapers. Others that are farther away are better, but it makes it not so convenient and I don’t know how much those are. So what do I do? For those in the states, how much you ask are these preschools? The one I wanted at first that is full is roughly 20 dollars for signing up and 14 dollars a month. The one that is more expensive and has a class just for William’s age is 40 dollars up front and 30 dollars a month. I can hear the gasps already all the way from here. Decisions, decisions!!

What do I do to best care for my newborn daughter? To preface his section, I must remind you that to tell someone what they should do for their child is to show concern. That said, I got instructed by an older lady in the proper way to hold my child when breastfeeding yesterday. I did it the way she said rather than arguing, but I felt like I was going to drop Mariama the whole time. She asked if I was scared to nurse. I said no, when the real thing is I am nervous about doing it in front of them because I do get instructions. To reassure everyone that heard my story from the village, I did take this better than the 13 year old last year telling me what my child needed. Here they shave the babies head, though I am not sure of the reasoning for this. I have already told some neighbors that we will not be doing that. I just figure she looks cute the way she is. So after the breastfeeding lesson, the daughters of his lady were telling me I needed to pencil in eyebrows for her. Now this was something new to hear, but once again Mariama is cute the way she is. Plus it is easier to pencil in for them because they can use a black pencil. Have you ever tried to match eyebrow color? Have you tried for a light newborn? Have you tried looking for one in Africa? I have tried looking here for me and it is impossible! Patience, patience!

My baby delivery in Africa--not for the faint of heart

Now as this post title suggests, this is not for the faint of heart, or even for those who plan to give birth some day. But because some of you have asked what it was really like, I will share it, but consider yourselves forewarned.
We went Thursday morning and, as we anticipated, the doctor wanted to induce. So he said we would do the IV of oxytocin for half an hour to one hour and see where we were at, i.e. if there was any progression. By the way I hate needles, and IVs fall under the needle category. They asked if I wanted an epidural, and I said I wanted to wait to see if this was really going to take before bringing more needles. After about an hour, he saw there was no change and so dismissed us thinking it might trigger something in the next few days or we would try again until we had a baby on Monday. So we came home and gathered our things to attend our team meeting that was already in progress. I continued to have some contractions right up through lunch, after which they ceased. So after the meeting, we went to a movie night at Dakar Academy, the boarding school here in Dakar for Americans mostly. I ate too much, which I would pay for later, but we had an enjoyable time. Most people were surprised to see us there expecting us to be having the baby. After we got home that night, William was distressed by not seeing us much of the day and so we were letting him lay in our bed for a while. This turned out to be a really bad idea when about midnight I began having extremely intense contractions. Going from no contractions to immediately strong ones drove me to the bathroom throwing up. I was scared and in pain which scared Rich, in turn causing a very concerned William. But within the the next two hours Rich got a hold of a friend of ours who came over to watch William so we could go to the hospital.
About 2:00 we arrive at the hospital, but the delivery rooms were full. So I was put in another room and given an IV of Spasfon to help relax me and the contractions, which wound up stopping the contractions altogether. Then a little after 7:30 the doctor came and made sure I was moved over to a delivery room and the induction was restarted as the day before, but the doctor said we would not stop until we had a baby. During the delivery, they had someone go purchase the pads I would need, which is different from what I had heard. I quickly agreed to get the epidural because of what I had heard about the delivery process here. Did I mention I don't like needles? So the contractions were lessened by the epidural but it did not completely take, so I was still able to feel much of what was going on. It is true that they do not provide a robe as they do in the states, but I did have a sheet over me most of the time. So that was not much different from the states as I remember. Worse than the contractions though is how they prepare the birth canal for the baby to come through. It speeds up the process because the baby's head does not do all the work, but it is painful because it is the midwife pressing from the inside---and I will leave it at that. It was excruciating! I had not been warned about this part of the delivery. Anyway, contractions got to where they needed to be and baby was in place for pushing, but the midwives said to wait on the doctor. I said he had better hurry then! He came and said push, which I was more than happy to do by this time. Unfortunately because of the epidural, the main muscles I felt I had control over were my chest muscles, which is not where I needed to push from. The midwives helped me to push by pressing on my stomach, which I had been warned about. But after everything else combined with the epidural, this was nothing. We also found out the reason they do the pressing is because the doctor does not use the forceps. The doctor tried to avoid doing an episiotomy as well, but he could not. Finally the head came out---Yea! But then concern arose as he unwound the umbilical cord that had gotten around her neck five times and knotted. Rich saw the knot, but all I saw was the unravelling that did not seem to end. I was anxious for her to be fully delivered then, so that she could be checked out. They quickly took her out of the room to the neonatal check point, which I told Rich to follow her to make sure she was ok. Rich returned saying it was her cry I heard, she was fine, and they were just cleaning her up. All of this happened before 1:00 in the afternoon! The doctor said he felt the epidural slowed it down, but it was all still fast to me. As he had unraveled her umbilical cord, he said to Rich how lucky this little girl was, but we know that it was nothing short of the hand of God protecting our little one. Thank you for each prayer offered up on our behalf as they were very much felt!
So that's it, Mariama's delivery in Dakar! The rest of the hospital care was wonderful and I got to get some rest, as many of you instructed me to do. Everything I needed for me or Mariama was provided except clothes and diapers for her. I was dismissed on Tuesday, which was just in time, because Rich can be a pitiful mess without me here. I am so blessed with a wonderful husband, a strong son who loves his baby sister, and a healthy baby girl that is just beautiful! Thank You God for how You have blessed my life!!!!!

Sayings from my baby shower

Things heard only at a Baby Shower in Africa:

"Oh! It has English on it!"

"It's wrapped in a small black plastic bag, but what else is there?"

"We should invite one of our African friends so they can see our ngentes."

"That's cute, and not just african cute."

"Regular kids might not be able to play this game, but since you're MKs, we'll see. . ."

"Will it get cool enough for the baby to wear long sleeves?"

"I didn't know Samba made diaper bags!"

"We have refreshments with cold punch!"

William's words

Ok, yes I realize I am terible about keeping this site up. I apologize but I generally don't have hve much time. Even now I will try to finish this post before William wakes up. Here are the words William says in English that we are sure of. I know there are more that are just just not as clear yet.

1. on/off
2. snack
3. ball
4. box
5. book
6. again
7. come
8. dada
9. mama
10. gamma (grandma)
    
11. gampa (grandpa)
12. hot
13. shoes
14. go
15. cup
16. juice
17. milk
18. two--how old he is
19. egg
20. man
21. hey you
22. more
23. done
24. please
25. thank you
26. love you
27. night-night
28. bye-bye
29. yeah/ yes
30. this
31. Amen!
32. oh wow
33. yuck
34. get you/ got you
35. catch
36. made a mess
37. hi there
38. Mickey
39. Goofy
40. Pooh
41. Blue (Blue's Clues)
42. Achoo!
43. Jesus
44. baby (as he pats my belly)
    
45. you get (it)
46. Rich (daddy's name as said by me)
47. cat
48. chicken
49. dolphin (for all fish)
50. dog

Well, that is more than enough for now. Hope you have a great day!